With the on going battle on “Why did Halo get a 10/10?” and IGN yelling at Gabe for not insulting them. I am going to write some tips on how to review games.
- If the game has “Friend Codes” (Nintendo DS and Wii) give it a 0/10. Don’t make me get friends who have money and just as much free time as me. Let me play with anyone! There is no excuse for friend codes, it does NOT protect children so don’t give me that.
- 0/10 is a bad game, 5/10 is average, 10/10 is the best game. Do not forget this. Stop making averages a 7/10. Use common since and stop letting other games tell you the game your reviewing isn’t fun.
- Just because a game is popular does not mean it is a 10/10. Just because a game isn’t Halo does not mean it sucks, for one most likely mean that is a good game.
- If a game is easy that doesn’t make it bad, it means the developers should have made a level of difficulty selection.
Now game reviewers aren’t the only people out there who need a little talkin’ to. Game developers have some stuff they gotta do.
- Don’t go into developing for the PS3, DS, or Wii with the girlish “OMG! MOTION SENSITIVE!” or “Look I can draw poop with it!” If that’s why your making a game stop go home. Go in to it maturely, even if your making a kids game. Mario doesn’t have stupid controls, neither should Tony Hawk or Sonic. Yes, the Wiimote is cool — that’s why I bought it, be big boys now.
- If Nintendo makes you use “friend codes”, tell them fine and make it for someone else. I love Nintendo but don’t get bullied into these 12-digit codes.
- Don’t release your games for the holidays. Don’t be a jerk, spread out your releases. Christmas can include stuff that has already been released and kids have more game-time during the Summer then they will in the middle of school. Also if your a little game your game will get no coverage during this time. I just found out that Fire Emblem and Soul Calibur Legends has been released.
- Platform Exclusives must go. You will make a load more money if you let everyone play. I know the Wii isn’t as powerful so if you can’t make it work for it don’t make it. Seriously, the Wii has way to many forced games and we don’t need your crap on our floor.
Now get out there and review some games and make some games!
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