Archive for November, 2007

How to Review Games

Published at November 27, 2007 in Reviews and Personal. 0 Comments

    With the on going battle on “Why did Halo get a 10/10?” and IGN yelling at Gabe for not insulting them. I am going to write some tips on how to review games.

  1. If the game has “Friend Codes” (Nintendo DS and Wii) give it a 0/10. Don’t make me get friends who have money and just as much free time as me. Let me play with anyone! There is no excuse for friend codes, it does NOT protect children so don’t give me that.
  2. 0/10 is a bad game, 5/10 is average, 10/10 is the best game. Do not forget this. Stop making averages a 7/10. Use common since and stop letting other games tell you the game your reviewing isn’t fun.
  3. Just because a game is popular does not mean it is a 10/10. Just because a game isn’t Halo does not mean it sucks, for one most likely mean that is a good game.
  4. If a game is easy that doesn’t make it bad, it means the developers should have made a level of difficulty selection.

Now game reviewers aren’t the only people out there who need a little talkin’ to. Game developers have some stuff they gotta do.

  1. Don’t go into developing for the PS3, DS, or Wii with the girlish “OMG! MOTION SENSITIVE!” or “Look I can draw poop with it!” If that’s why your making a game stop go home. Go in to it maturely, even if your making a kids game. Mario doesn’t have stupid controls, neither should Tony Hawk or Sonic. Yes, the Wiimote is cool — that’s why I bought it, be big boys now.
  2. If Nintendo makes you use “friend codes”, tell them fine and make it for someone else. I love Nintendo but don’t get bullied into these 12-digit codes.
  3. Don’t release your games for the holidays. Don’t be a jerk, spread out your releases. Christmas can include stuff that has already been released and kids have more game-time during the Summer then they will in the middle of school. Also if your a little game your game will get no coverage during this time. I just found out that Fire Emblem and Soul Calibur Legends has been released.
  4. Platform Exclusives must go. You will make a load more money if you let everyone play. I know the Wii isn’t as powerful so if you can’t make it work for it don’t make it. Seriously, the Wii has way to many forced games and we don’t need your crap on our floor.

Now get out there and review some games and make some games!

Future US Doesn’t Get The Message

Published at November 25, 2007 in Comp.lainr and Personal. 0 Comments

    I thought I told you, Mr. Future US that if you didn’t cut the crap you’d get a backlash bigger then your arse can take. Well the smart folks at DS Fanboy has did a little ad-comparison of Nintendo’s Nintendo Power (Pre-November) and Future’s Nintendo Power (November to Current) and have seen a giant increase in ads.

What they found is that the overall page count has been reduced by 20, and 10 more pages of ads have been inserted. They even went as far as to compare it to the Ziff Davis-owned gaming magazine which almost 10-pages of ads less then Future US’s Nintendo Power.

If the renewel cost wasn’t the same as buying the Zelda Phantom Hourglass guide I probably would not have renewed to what was my favorite magazine.

Crusade Against Future US

Published at November 13, 2007 in Comp.lainr and Personal. 0 Comments

I’ve been subscribing to Mac Addict, now Mac|Life, and I’ve been receiving the Official Xbox Magazine through a free magazine deal. These magazines have one thing in common: They’re owned by Future US, a magazine publisher in San Francisco, who used to be awesome until this.

In both Mac|Life and the Official Xbox Magazine there are 30-page ads for AT&T. Let me remind you: We pay for this! With money! What type of industry would do this? I did a little run down on Mac|Life. Only 24 pages in the 130 page magazine did not contain advertisements.

30-page-ad

Say Digg started charging 25$ for a year of Digg-content or 10$ for one month, like a magazine, and to find that 82% of Digg was ads. You’d say forget that, I’d join Reddit for free.

Nintendo Power has recently been bought out by Future US. This would make me cry if this is what they are going to do to what was one of the best magazines out there.

Contact Future US and tell them this has to stop!

Continue reading ‘Crusade Against Future US’

Online Game Rentals (are Crap)

Published at November 9, 2007 in Comp.lainr and Personal. 4 Comments

ihateonlinegamerentals    I’ve signed up for three different game rental services in the past week. Only one would send me any games. That was Gamefly. Gamefly sent out games but it took on average a week or more for the game to get to my mailbox. Why? Who cares, you pay month and that means you better be playing that game for a long time or you’re spending most of your month without a game!

GottaPlay looked like it would be better, but sadly they only own 1 copy of every game and after 5 days they wouldn’t even ship me one game. There goes that 10-day free trial!

GamezNFlix also looked good but once I signed up I could only pick from a limited selection because I was “doing a trial” and they preloaded my Queue with a every version of FIFA 08 for PS2, Wii, and Xbox. Whats even worse? When I searched for a game it would ask me if I wanted to log out. With further browsing I found out their site does not work in Safari or Firefox. Forget that!

If you have a game rental service you think I should check out please post it in the comments, otherwise I don’t think we can give these companies enough hell for being awful.